Waving Good Bye
by liz-macgregor
Summary: The funeral was quiet. Surprisingly, almost everyone from Stars Hollow made an appearance. Even Taylor managed to shed a tear. Literati


**My first fanfic! I've never written a sad story before, so I hope I did okay. Please make a comment if you see a mistake, but try to be nice about it (ya know, if you can). Tell me if I've overdone it. I may have. I just typed this out in about fifteen minutes; no planning, no editing. I hope it's alright. If it makes any difference... I like it. :)**

**Liz**

**PS: Please review. That pretty purple button is just calling out to you.**

"No."

That one word rang, an endless echo in the space between them. His brown eyes, alight with hope just moments ago, darkened. His face fixed in a scowl once more as he turned away from her.

Alone, she too turned ¾ into her suite. She collapsed onto the closest box she could reach, holding her head in her hands. Tears drew their lines down her arms as she let it all out. She could not bring herself to realize what had just happened.

Jess loved her. He wanted her to go away with him. It was all to much to process.

--

An hour later, she was curled up in her bed in her room in her mother's house. She was dozing lightly. Suddenly, sirens woke her. She was scared but then realized that the sound was coming from the TV in the next room.

"Rory!" her mother called. "RORY!"

She made her way to her mother, who was crouching, her face three inches from the television. "What is it, mom?"

Her mom said nothing, just pointed to the television screen where _breaking news_ had just come in. A helicopter was providing footage from above. A wreck. A car. A familiar car.

Rory was silent.

…_drunk driver…_

…_alleged drunk to be prosecuted…_

…_one fatality…_

The emotionless words of the reporters drifted in and out of Rory's mind as her eyes glazed over.

_Not true! It couldn't be him. It wasn't him._

"It wasn't him!" Rory cried, breaking the silence. Her eyes were once again drowned as she balled. Her mother guided her to the couch. "It wasn't him. It can't be him…" her voice drifted off as sobs overtook her.

--

The funeral was quiet. Surprisingly, almost everyone from Stars Hollow made an appearance. Even Taylor managed to shed a tear.

He looked so handsome in his casket. Hair combed (no gel), a nice suit; he looked almost gentlemanly. But he didn't look like himself. At least Rory thought he didn't.

_He wouldn't want this,_ she thought. _He'd want his hair gelled, perfect locks for wherever he was going. He'd want his favorite books with him. He'd want-_

Her thoughts were interrupted as Luke stood to give a eulogy.

"Jess was a good kid." Luke paused.

Taylor coughed.

"I didn't say he wasn't great. But at least he tried. And he was smart. I know it didn't come across real well in his interactions with you all, but he was. I just-"

His voice cracked.

"I wish you all could have seen what I saw in him. True, I didn't see much at first. But every now and then, I would catch a glimpse into what he could be, what he wanted to be, and what he would have been if given the chance. I just wish that I hadn't given up on him."

And then the tears started to flow.

"If I had done something more. I could have done more. I should have done more."

Lorelai stood up and led him away from the small podium he had been standing at. Knowing what was coming next, Lorelai nodded to her daughter who was staring, transfixed, at Jess' still face, frozen forever in that peaceful smile.

_I wonder if that's what he looked like when he slept._

Breaking from her trance, Rory took her place at the podium. The crowd waited, not knowing what words were about to be spoken.

Rory took a breath, and her prepared speech disappeared.

"Jess was amazing." The humid air pressed against her body.

"He was kind, funny, and brilliant. Smarter than me. I think that's why I liked him so much.

"I knew the day I met him…" she paused, thinking.

A semblance of a smile graced her pale features. "Rather, I knew a few hours after I met him that I had met my match. He was just…" and she trailed off again, unable to adequately describe Jess for this audience that had obviously never gotten to know him.

_Because he wouldn't let them in._

"While Jess was amazing in many respects, he also fell short in others.

"He made me angry." Her eyes locked with Lorelai's in a knowing kind of way.

"He made me cry." She saw Dean force his head down, staring at his hands.

"And he made me doubt myself. But despite all of this, I loved him." A gasp was heard throughout the small crowd.

"I loved him so much, and he never knew," Rory took in a shuddering breath. "He never knew, because I never told him. He told me. He told me he loved me. And I never told him that I loved him too." Her voice had become ragged.

Rory looked over at Jess's open casket, and realized a millisecond too late that doing so was a mistake. Now she couldn't stop the tears from falling. But still, she kept talking.

"He understood me in a way that no one else ever could. We liked the same things. He argued so well. And Hemmingway…" More sobs. "That stupid Hemmingway." She gripped the podium for support, as she didn't know how much longer her legs would hold out.

"He loved books. He read more books that I even knew was possible. He endured my grandmother and my mother. Two generations of Gilmores, he survived. Just for me."

Her face was red, her eyes puffy. "You all should know-" Pause. "You all _need to realize_ that Jess was incredible. If you can't do that…" but her voice trailed off once again.

She walked back to her seat and was silent for the rest of the service.

--

Hours later, she sat in front of a white, marble tombstone. Her fingers slowly traced over the simple lettering.

_Jess Mariano_

_Son, Nephew_

She fought as hard as her feeble body would allow her to as she felt a fresh wave of tears rush over her. However, she gave in, watering the freshly turned dirt beneath her. She draped herself over the tombstone, gripping it, wrapping her arms around it.

_As if it will bring me closer to him_.

She felt a tap on her shoulder. A small part of her prayed that it would be him, that this all was a bad dream, that she would look up and be met with those sarcastic chocolate eyes.

Lorelai helped her daughter up, laying Rory's arm across her shoulders. She and Rory walked slowly away from the grave site. Only Rory looked back. She could see a figure standing by Jess' tombstone. It was waving good bye.


End file.
